Love? - Poem #6

going back to that place mentally where i swear i'd never visit,

where i dont want to visit.

but if i don't, i cant move on with my life

nah, i don't love him,

but i wanted to.

infatuation confused with love

love confused with infidelity

i was so blinded.

thought that act of infidelity was to test love

and if love was not tested i'd test it

it was an on going game

caused by lack of security

waiting for rings that were forever silent, you never bothered

for you, pride came before love.

for me, love came before anything.

the best of me is my pride, but

cause of love vested in me

pride never got the best of me

memories of us flood my mind

left me blind

not only from your wrongdoing

i couldn't see no one else pursuing...

misconceptions.

in-denial.

confusion.

i knew what i was in for

& i still went for it

you were so predictable

& even though i predicted ya every move

i still fell for it

myself is who i blame

luring me with your lies

stepping into my life

toying with my emotions

and making me numb

another lesson learned though.

but how many lessons of love must i learn for me to pass?

but nah, i dont love him.

i wanted to.

i thought i did.

thought about our life & kids

the battle was tough but

i fought ...

lost ...

but lived.